Who the hell is Jennifer anyway?

I am a 48 year old, married, overweight, workaholic, alcoholic female.  I’m basically happy, and almost always have a positive attitude.  I am just now learning how to have hobbies and interests outside of work and wine.  My new hobbies include writing, cooking, coloring and learning new, 50 letter medical terms.  My interests include traveling, eating, cats that like me, and cocktails.  I love a clean house, but I don’t have one.  I believe in working hard and doing what it takes to keep my customers happy, even when I feel like hell and want to cry.  It makes me sad to witness anger or abuse of any kind.  But I’m not a bleeding heart, because I do believe sometimes people get what they deserve.  I’m the eternal optimist that falters once in a while.  I often get a bad rap because I’m a straight shooter.  Many people despise me.  I don’t get it because I rarely think negatively about others.  I want everyone I come in contact with to walk away smiling.  I get frustrated easy.  I’m horrible at expressing myself properly, but I will talk to you until you want to put a sock in my mouth.  I make people cry and I hate it.  People make me cry and I hate it.  I will do anything for a friend, employee, partner, or stranger.  I don’t accept people doing things for me, even though inside I Love it.  I always feel ill in some way, it just varies in degree of pain.  I don’t hold grudges, except against family members.  I believe in second chances, but not fourth and fifth.  I don’t believe in the death penalty, because an eye for an eye never helps anything.  But I’m okay with abortion because the world is tough enough without starting your life with someone that doesn’t want you.  I’m a liberal because I think everyone should have the same rights and be allowed to do what makes them happy.  I’m personally conservative because I hold myself to a higher standard than others.  I’m a survivor of some of the worst circumstances a person can endure at the hands of another.  I’m a failure and a success story.  I can’t sing for shit, but I will belt out a song in my car. I’m afraid of the dark and enjoy looking at shiny, bright objects. I don’t get embarrassed because everyone does stupid stuff, not just me.  I don’t believe in God because I can’t touch him or hear him or see him.  I believe in aliens because, come on, we are here and the universe is huge.  Don’t think the irony of my last two statements is beyond me.  I love Bob Dylan, Britney Spears, Snoop Dog, Martina McBride, Stained, Barry Manilow, and Iggy Azalea.  I make tons of mistakes and continue to try.  My favorite foods are pizza, nachos, sushi, green peppers, ice cream, strawberries and vodka.  I have a paralyzed stomach, Ehlers Danlos, Pots, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, and small fiber neuropathy. Just to name a few.  I’m crazier than a bat in the daylight and I’m smart as a whip.  I have the best partner to share my life with, and he never gives up on me.  And I love Star Trek and want to live on the Enterprise full time, my favorite people are Worf and Quark, and I must have a holosuite before I die.